Do you often find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Do you constantly put others’ needs before your own, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted? If so, you might be caught in the trap of people-pleasing.

While it’s natural to want to be kind and accommodating, constantly prioritising others’ needs over your own can have a detrimental impact on your wellbeing. People-pleasing can hold us back and drain us of energy, however there are ways to gently shift this pattern and create safe boundaries.

It’s important to understand the consequences of people pleasing, because while it may seem like a noble trait, it often comes with a high personal cost.

By feeling like we constantly need to seek the approval of others and avoiding conflict, we compromise our own desires, values, and boundaries. The outcome can be increased stress, anxiety, and a loss of our identity. It’s essential to recognise the toll people-pleasing takes on our emotional and mental wellbeing.

Here’s 3 top tips to help you create safe boundaries………

Tip 1 – Reflect and Identify Your Triggers

The first step in breaking free from people-pleasing is self-reflection. Take some time to identify the situations, people, or circumstances that trigger your people-pleasing tendencies. By understanding what prompts these behaviours, you can start building awareness and take proactive steps to change them. It’s important to remember that setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s an act of self-care and self-respect.

Tip 2 – Practice Assertive Communication

Developing assertive communication skills is crucial for creating safe boundaries. Start by expressing your needs and desires clearly and directly, without fear of judgment or rejection. Remember, you have the right to say no and prioritise your own well-being. Learning to communicate your boundaries effectively will not only empower you but also foster healthier and more authentic relationships.

Tip 3 – Prioritise Self-Care and Set Realistic Expectations

One of the main drivers of people-pleasing is the desire to meet unrealistic expectations. It’s essential to recognise that you cannot please everyone, nor should you try. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and setting realistic expectations for what you can and cannot do. Prioritise self-care, make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, and remember that your well-being is just as important as anyone else’s.

Breaking free from the patterns of people-pleasing is a transformative journey towards self-discovery and self-empowerment. By recognising the consequences of people pleasing, reflecting on your triggers, practicing assertive communication, and prioritising self-care, you can create safe boundaries and reclaim your energy and personal power. Embrace the process with compassion and know that you are deserving of a life that is authentically yours.

Need help establishing boundaries, communicating assertively and shifting your relationship with people pleasing? Reach in and we can talk about the options available. You can book a call in my calendar or email me directly on workwith@collectivewisdomcoaching.com.

Go gently
Mel xox