Have you ever paid attention to ‘that’ feeling that comes up any time you’re doing something new in your life, career, or business? It’s not excitement, it’s not contentment. It can feel like a heavy negative weight. It could be emotional resistance.

Emotional resistance refers to the subconscious or conscious defence mechanisms that we use to protect ourselves from experiencing difficult emotions or situations. Emotional resistance can manifest in a variety of ways, such as denying or avoiding feelings, pushing away people or situations that trigger uncomfortable emotions, or distracting oneself from feelings through various coping mechanisms.

When we think about it logically, we can see that it is an inevitable part of the human experience, and we can expect to encounter it across our lifetime.

Sometimes we are so used to the resistance being part of our reactions that they become automatic – a little like being on autopilot. So, what might emotional resistance look like for you? It can manifest in a variety of ways, but for a lot of women, it might show up as……….

• Getting distracted or letting other things become “bigger priorities” without any real reasoning.
• Overcomplicating what we ‘have to do’ as a way to slow yourself down and therefore ‘put off’ success or failure.
• Asking your friends and family what they think you should do rather than trusting yourself and your own intuition.
• Thinking that you know it all or feeling like you’ve tried it all and so there’s no point trying again.
• Not setting aside the time to do ‘the work’ you need to, to move towards your goals.
• Quitting at the first sign of trouble or when the results aren’t instant, because “if it hasn’t worked by now, it probably won’t.”
• Comparing yourself to others and feeling despair because you ‘should’ have done more with your life by now!
• Judging yourself for how difficult things are and then going into cycles of shame, blame and guilt that prevent you from doing what you really want to do.
• Not doing anything until everything is perfect.

We can find that our emotional resistance is a response to loss, trauma, or past difficult life experiences. Our brain uses resistance to keep us safe by helping us to regulate our emotions and to manage the intensity of our feelings.

Whilst this can protect us from making decisions that could be harmful, it can also stop us from developing and growing as humans. You’ll know when resistance makes an appearance because ultimately you end up not doing the things you really want and need to do in order to create the results you aspire to.

It’s important to be aware of emotional resistance and make sure you are checking and challenging where it is coming from and what it is trying to do. Using these simple but effective strategies can help you overcome resistance and ease the impacts it may be having.

1. Acknowledge and Find the Source of Your Feelings
   A useful first step is to recognise and name the emotions you are experiencing. Allow yourself to feel them without judgement or criticism. This may be difficult, but it is essential for moving forward. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What is causing me to be resistant?

2. Talk It Out
   Talking out your feelings can often be helpful. Talk to someone you trust and feel comfortable with, such as a friend or family member, a coach or therapist. Using others as a sounding board can help you gain insights and develop strategies to move past your resistance.

3. Practice Self-Compassion
   Self-compassion is simply treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance during times of difficulty, or failure. It’s about knowing that you are human, and you will feel fear and resistance and then responding by nurturing and supporting yourself.

Understanding and acknowledging our emotional resistance may seem challenging and exhausting, yet it is essential for paving the way towards personal growth and success by exploring alternative and healthier ways to navigate through obstacles and setbacks effectively. Only through recognising the root of our feelings and addressing our emotional barriers can we truly embrace growth and achieve our unique definition of success.

Need help or want to explore your resistance? Reach in and we can talk about the options available. You can email me directly on workwith@collectivewisdomcoaching.com or book a call in my calendar.

Go gently
Mel xoxo