I thought I’d write about something I’m really passionate about. Something I want to change for every woman I meet. Self-worth!

This one is for all the tired working women out there looking after others and neglecting themselves.

It’s for all the women who feel they aren’t good enough and don’t value the contributions they make on a daily basis.

I wrote this one for you just in case no one’s told you lately. You got this!

What I want you all to know is that regardless of your past, present or future:

You are enough

Many of us live life thinking we are never quite enough. It becomes a theme and unconsciously influences our thinking, feelings, and behaviours. It’s insidious and may start as a small seed (perhaps in our childhood or past) that takes root and grows like a weed. Each and every day you get up and do your best – is proof that you are enough. It’s time to find ways to truly believe it.

You are exactly where you need to be right now

Do you find yourself thinking I should be better, I should have achieved more by now, I’m running out of time?

During the last year of my Mum’s life, I was being pulled in what felt like 100 different directions. I felt guilty for not being fully present with my children – I should have been a better parent. I felt guilty for the break in my career because I should have been achieving more. I felt guilty when I wasn’t with my Mum because I was running out of time. At the time I felt like a complete failure, my thinking was on a goofy loop to nowhere.

Hindsight has since revealed I was exactly where I needed to be.

I can see this now because I don’t regret being my Mum’s primary carer, it was an absolute privilege. My children have a deep respect for me and the care I provided to my Mum. I’ve come to understand that caring for my Mum in her death was a profound learning experience that deepened my connection and understanding of the work I did with vulnerable people. In having my time with Mum cut short I learnt that relationships and connection is what truly matters to me and that every moment we have can make significant impact on ourselves and others. What I truly learnt was that every day I take breath, I am exactly where I need to be.

If you find yourself thinking I should be better, I should have achieved more by now, I’m running out of time – that’s the moment to connect with yourself and know that you too are exactly where you need to be right now.

You are never alone

I bang on about this one a lot and for good reason. In some of my most difficult moments I felt alone. Things really changed for me when I started talking about my experiences. Suddenly others were drawn to me and opened up about their stories. Although our experiences are never a carbon copy – there are similarities that bind us together because we are all having the human experience.

Part of my journey has been helping others and myself understand ‘why’ we think, feel and behave the way we do as humans. When we understand more about our past and the influence it has on our present and future selves – we have the best chance of making changes that have impact.

In the past if you’d asked me what I thought of my childhood – I would’ve told you all the wonderful parts and the special relationships that helped me grow and become who I am today. I wouldn’t have told you about the more difficult moments like growing up in poverty, being exposed to Domestic and Family Violence or growing up believing my birth father didn’t love me because I wasn’t good enough. I certainly would not have talked about their true impact because I didn’t come to fully understand it until many years, some therapy, lots of on-the-job training and a fair bit of study later.

Now it is not to blame anyone or anything for what we’ve taken on board as we move through adulthood, but it is often said that we survive childhood only to be able to unpack it in adulthood.

I work with women who know they don’t need therapy or to seek ongoing psychological help, but also know they need someone beyond their family and friends (who don’t want to challenge or hurt feelings) to guide them to understanding more about themselves and why they are or aren’t doing things for themselves. What I love about coaching is the space it fills for women. My role allows you to unpack your why.

Self-worth is complex and in fact is a lifelong learning process. It is dynamic and changes as we do. It is easily left neglected and yet when we pay attention and develop it – we shift from feeling frustrated to fabulous.

So, in case no one has told you lately – you are enough, you are exactly where you need to be right now, and you are never alone.

If you’re ready to get deeper and rediscover your self-worth, reach in and we can talk about how together we can guide you to get what you want, need and desire.

Because you deserve it hon.

Hopping off my soap box now!

Talk soon

Mel xoxox