Humans are a funny species. If we were to stand back and objectively watch ourselves (think sitting on a bench watching several families of humans interact in an enclosure at Taronga Zoo) we’d witness a lot of love, caring for those closest to us and sharing of our experiences and resources with one another.

And if we sat for a little longer and took time to keep watching their interactions, we’d eventually witness the deeper behaviours that sit well below the surface. We see their life choices and decisions being influenced by watching others (think gentle side eye).

These humans are looking outside their own pack to see what others are doing, how they are doing it and how successful they appear to be at surviving. We’d witness some healthy competition, because ultimately it is all about survival of the fittest right? We’d see how this comparison and measurement against their peers can cause despair and longing for something different to what they have.

And if we stayed on that bench and watched them settle in for the night, we might see some tensions play out. We might see some celebrations of what was achieved that day, personal successes, what was learnt and how good it felt.

The other side of that might be stories of some regret from the day’s activities, some friction because although they survived (and that’s the purpose of life, right?), something doesn’t feel right for them. They feel like there must be more to life for them.

Some may experience trouble getting to sleep as they think about what they really want. They toss and turn thinking about why the day seems like a success, but it also feels like they failed. As they fall asleep, we see them dream for the future and sometimes, we’ll see their nightmares in full colour. It’s a movie about being a fraud, an imposter in their own life, stuck with no spark or zest for the rest of their life.

And if we sit on that bench long enough – we’ll witness those members of the pack rise in the morning, take a hit of caffeine, swallow it and their feelings deep down, and get back onto the treadmill of life because everyone in the enclosure is watching (and there’s another round of visitors at the zoo to entertain).

So, what can we learn from these observations?

2. That we are not a homogenous species.
   Each one of us is different, there are commonalities that bind us. As humans we need to feel connection and belonging, but we also have individual needs and wants that need to be nurtured too.
   
   
3. Sure, it’s about survival but we also deserve to be fulfilled
   When we focus on other’s definitions of success and survival we can get left behind. Leaving and ignoring the fulfilment piece behind creates exhaustion regardless of how successful you become.
   
   
4. The spark and zest for life is important
   When we see those who are successful and have that spark in their eye, they have energy to support their existence, balance, and resilience – they’re surviving but, in another gear, they’re thriving. They’re success and fulfillment are aligned.

Overall, what our observations lead to is an understanding that we have the right to live our lives in success alignment. That when our success and survival aren’t aligned and leaves us feeling exhausted, stretched, and overwhelmed – we can make change. That we have more control than we think, and we get to exercise it to find what we really want, our purpose, our vitality, our spark.

So why do I tell you this story? Because COVID benched us all and we got to observe each other in captivity through Zoom, Facebook, TikTok, Insta, LinkedIn, FaceTime, the news and more.

Some of us found out that we are exactly where we need to be, some reassessed, made changes and have emerged more aligned, some realised they want it to be different and are ready to make change, some know they want it to be different but aren’t sure what that means, some are feeling lost and completely stuck in exhaustion and overwhelm.

That’s the human experience – it is a continuum of experience but remember nothing is forever.

You get to choose what happens next so that you feel fulfilled, energised, excited, ready for a challenge, making your way towards achieving your goals and on the right track for you. You get to be success aligned.

If you’re struggling to believe in your ability to understand what you truly want or make a shift and implement some changes – remember you’re not alone. If you need to – just borrow my belief in you, until you’re ready to pick it back up for yourself.

I got you – because you’ve got this!

Go gently, big love
Mel xoxox

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