I’ve worked with people my whole career and over the years in my professional life I’ve witnessed a lot. Acts of love, kindness and care, as well as the damage inflicted by others that can only be described as abhorrent. 

There is a common thread which truly defines the human experience for me. It’s our determination and resilience to seek out connection and belonging.  

Connection happens when we are seen, heard, and understood for exactly who we are (and for who we’re not). Belonging is when we are accepted for who we are (and for who we’re not). Belonging and connection help us manage stress and help us cope more effectively with difficult times in our lives. When we feel we have support and are not alone, we are more resilient.  

Whilst connection and belonging sound like simple concepts, when we feel disconnected or that we don’t belong, life can feel a lot more difficult, we can lack energy and slip into survival mode. An auto-pilot of sorts – where we take our hands off the wheel and allow the external circumstances to take over our controls. 

I’ve noticed there are 3 concepts that every client I have ever worked with needed to know; they are: 

1. That we are not a homogenous species.  
   While there are commonalities that bind us, each one of us is different – our own unique person with strengths, talents, ideas, assets and goals. Every single human needs to feel connection and belonging, but along with that we all have individual needs and wants that need nurturing.
   
   
2. Life isn’t all about survival, we deserve to be fulfilled. 
   Some days life can feel like a sophisticated game of Survivor, we are often loaded with stressors, worries and difficult situations. Regardless of the trials we face, we all feel an intrinsic push and pull to grow and develop as people to find a sense of fulfillment. Ignoring the fulfilment piece, pushes us into survival mode and in the long-term it creates resentment and exhaustion. Life’s not all about the jobs we have or what we own – fulfillment is about our life satisfaction, happiness, mental and physical health and even longevity. It is about the purpose and meaning of our life. When we invest in our growth and development, we create fulfillment.
   
   
3. The spark and zest for life comes from belonging and connection. 
   When I ask clients what they really want – they will often reply with “I want to find my spark again.” But what is that spark and how do you cultivate it? It comes through a deep sense of belonging and connection. Believing in and belonging to yourself is critical, so that you can choose to share your most authentic self with the world and others. We create a zest for life when we truly know who we are and can internally validate our own experiences. It’s when we realise that we do not need to change who we are, that we can connect with others by simply being ourselves. This gives us the energy, vitality, and resilience to support and create more balance in our lives. 

It’s interesting that these concepts can create magnificent A-HA moments with clients because they really come to understand what belonging and connection means to them and how it influences their thinking, feelings and actions or inaction.

When we take the time to step back and really think about these concepts, we begin to develop a more compassionate and caring relationship with ourselves. We come to understand that our individual experiences are also part of the collective human experience.

Well, that’s a little serious and deep!

But what does it all really mean?

It means you get to choose what happens next.

You can move towards creating your own sense of connection, belonging and fulfillment.

You can take back the wheel and create energy, excitement and new challenges that stretch you in positive ways.

You can develop a new relationship with yourself in a more compassionate and caring way.

You can make your way towards achieving your goals.

You can choose to be your authentic self all day, every day.   

If you’re struggling to believe in your ability to understand what you truly want or making the shift to implement some changes – remember you’re not alone. If you need to – just borrow my belief in you, until you’re ready to pick it back up for yourself. 

I got you – because you’ve got this!  

Go gently,  
Mel xoxox 

Do you know about the Wisdom Vault? It’s where I put useful tools, tips and strategy sheets to guide you in your change journey. It’s super simple to access – head over to the resources area of the Collective Wisdom website, sign up and you’re in – instant access!