I’m not Catholic but writing this post has been a long time in the making and kinda feels like a confession of sorts.

So here goes…..

I’ve been floating around during the pandemic not doing anything. I mean I didn’t make sourdough; I didn’t write a book; I didn’t learn another language or get fit walking within my 5km radius.

During the pandemic I was in a highly stressful job managing the student critical incidents that occurred at a local university. Many young people in this transition experience disruption to their mental health and wellbeing, and feel overwhelmed.

The pandemic lockdowns and online learning amplified and increased their risk significantly, I had an extreme set of circumstances on my hands. The result: an all-consuming role that required me to be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week caring for lots of vulnerable and distressed students. I felt overwhelmed.

The job not only consumed me but tried to destroy my relationships with the people I love most in the world. I felt overwhelmed. Eventually I succumbed to some very serious health issues. I felt overwhelmed. I knew I had to make changes. I felt overwhelmed. I quit my job. I felt overwhelmed. Collective Wisdom Coaching and Consulting had been a love project, a sanity space, a side hustle. Suddenly I had time to bring together all my experience working with women, all the education, training, theory, science, and practice I’ve collected over 25 years.

I combined that with what I’d learnt during my own ‘Decade of Disaster’, what emerged was the Human Experience Coaching Model. I wrote a program called Show Up and Take a Breath. It’s about helping women invest in themselves and put themselves first (let’s be real, it’s been a while).

The program provides time and space for women to safely explore what’s creating overwhelm and break through the limits they’ve placed on themselves. It’s designed to help women consciously manage their mind so that they can exercise control and choice over the way they experience themselves in the world. I was shrouded in my own self-doubt, I felt overwhelmed. I practiced what I preach and pushed through.

I started strong and worked with a group of 6 beautiful women who signed up to do the program – halfway through they locked us down. I felt overwhelmed.

I quickly ‘pivoted’ (argh!!!!!!) to deliver the program via Zoom, and we all got through it marvellously. My clients were so patient, I was well out of my comfort zone. I felt overwhelmed. The program wrapped up, I sat in my house, went grocery shopping once a week, supported one child in year 8, two children in first year university and one child working in a different state. I supported my partner run our family business delivering milk to the masses (he just loved being called an essential worker). I got lost amongst it all. I felt overwhelmed. Around this time the feelings of overwhelm completely took over. My hands weren’t just off the steering wheel. I was more like a drunk passenger in the back seat of an Uber without an end destination.

Lockdowns lifted and shifted, and I slipped deep into cycles of guilt, shame and blame for the next 8 months. I was languishing and at the time I was trying to convince myself that I just didn’t care, that it wasn’t what I really wanted, that I didn’t deserve to chase my dreams, that I should just settle But I did care, I felt a nudge, just sitting in the back of my mind, gently whispering, quietly asking ‘What do you really want?’

When I thought about how to recover and bring Collective Wisdom out of hibernation – I felt resistance, worry and negativity towards myself. I’d lost all my confidence. My inner voice was loud. ‘Who do you think you are? You can’t do this. You tried it once and it didn’t work out. You’re a fraud. You’ll get found out.’ I felt overwhelmed.

Two friends had a little chat with me. They very gently reminded me that I could borrow their belief in me, until I got mine back. I’d lent them mine before. It’s just how we roll!

I chose to invest in myself and took some time to really decide – was I in or was I out?

I used the tools and strategies I know work to get above it, to unpack it, to see if the spark was still there. What I discovered was that Collective Wisdom and working with women who feel like imposters in their own lives and have lost confidence in themselves is what I am here to do.

Decision is.…………..overwhelm is out and I’m back in baby!

Go gently.

Big love
Mel xoxox

Make sure you check out the ‘7 Ways to Show Up and Learn More About Yourself’ here– it will be valuable if you feel like you’ve been hibernating, languishing, or living in overwhelm. Getting clear on what we are feeling and the impacts it is having, is just one piece of a larger puzzle.

PPS. If you are after more support and help, join my free Wisdom Warriors Connection Space on Facebook for connection with like-minded women and more guidance and resources.